"The Process" or "Enjoying the Grind"

Nick Saban and his dang process. (and what we can learn about goal achievement)

I happen to support college football team, but that also is beside the point. One thing the rather stingy coach gives up about how he has led his programs to success is his reliance on "The Process"

But what is the process? Why does it matter?

The process is how we do our daily lives. The process is us defining the steps we need to take everyday to achieve our big goals.

In the US in 2018, the process is not sexy. Winning the Gold Medal is Sexy. Making a million dollars is sexy. Finishing an Iron Man is sexy.

But not all the work you have to do to achieve these goals.

We are oriented these days to be so focused on achieving the end goal that we forget about focusing on the steps of the journey. We look up after setting a massive goal a week and a half in and say, "I don't feel like I'm at my goal"  "This is too much work, I just want the results now" "Why did I think I wanted this?!"

It's because we forgot to highlight the importance of the process.

Celebrate the steps along the path. Realize that every day you get outside to run or workout, your in the act of achieving your goal. Realize that every morning you wake up a little bit earlier to write, be grateful for your family, or work on your new business you're in the process of creating success.

Yes, the big goals are important, but right next to your big goals should be your daily plan on how you are going to get there.

And on your journey, don't forget to celebrate your process.  The process is your life.

Come on in! The lava's fine!

So, I just had a coaching call today. And I was fired up! I had a practice session with my sister, so we could practice a little bit and get started moving forward.

I had also signed up for a group online where I could practice coaching and getting used to the program. Little did I know that while my coach was praising me for the achievements I'd made in the last two weeks, she would ask me now to expand my coaching practice. "You want me to post about this on facebook?!?" heheheh... I don't know about that.

A little background: As a kid growing up I had a bit of trouble making friends, partially due to the fact I attended 5 schools between 5th and 8th grade, partially because we moved from my hometown of Ann Arbor, Michigan to the wild west of Texas, but mostly because I was pretty quiet. I got beat up a few times. around the time I entered high school I got a hold of the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". Of course this was a revolutionary title, and from that moment on I decided I would do whatever it took to win friends, and influence people to a point. This became the armor that allowed me to grow as a social human being. Working to say the right things, wear the right clothes, find the right people etc. I was so scared at times to be myself that I created what I thought was the perfect persona. Even more than that, I wished to hide anything that would take away from that. This mindset caused me to sometimes eschew what I wanted personally for what I thought would "look good" to people around me. It became a obsession, one that partially hasn't changed over a decade. (I'm just coming to terms with this right now)

So for my coach to ask me to post something that I cared about on line, basically to say that I was starting a personal coaching and development practice made me feel like she was asking me to take a trip to Mordor and casually take a dip in the flaming hot magma of Mt. Doom. It scared the shit outta me.

One, I really don't like asking for things that I want to build on my own, and two, I couldn't tell my friends about this could I? I don't feel ready! I need to read at least 30,000 more books, go to 20 seminars, become a tibetan monk for 5 years, then study under Mr. Miyagi  before I'm ready!  There's got to be a different way.

But part of me knows I have to move forward. I have to. To stay where I am is not an option. Yesterday, after visiting with my Great Godparents, I thought a lot about life. in 15 years I'm going to be 42. That scares the crap outta me too. If I'm anywhere near where I am today, I'd feel like I was a failure. At the same time I still have that voice in the back of my head reminding me of every screwup, misstep, or buttfumble from the last 5 years, and sometimes more!

So now my challenge is to move forward. That's all I can do. I can talk to people, I can coach myself up, it doesn't matter. I just need. to. move. forward. Even if its sending personal messages to friends & family.


Okay. That's what I've got for today all. I'll find a way through this.

On the path of thought

Hello All,

Allow me to reintroduce myself. I'm Trey Sparks. I'm on a journey to become the best version of myself. For the time being that means learning about the personal coaching field and moving to a place where I myself am a coach. My journey down the rabbit hole of personal development started many years ago when I discovered a book in High School named "How to win friends and influence people" It was a great book that helped a very shy, very quiet tween start to develop his own voice. The path has taken me through the church, high school, being a very black male in very white surroundings, overcoming the pain of my parent's divorce etc,  all the way to finishing a master's degree, traveling to 10 countries (it's a start right?) and ultimately to a job where I get to travel for a living. Now it has brought me here. What I aim to do is to track my progress, report the successes and failures, and ultimately share the story of one person on a path to realizing his dreams.

Some people come across their dreams early in life. Some people find their "calling" through a traditional route like college or vocational school. Some people don't find a calling at all. Some people find their purpose through volunteering; working only to support their goals. As someone who believed wholeheartedly in the educational system, I had a revelation not to long ago which basically stated "Just because you didn't major in it, doesn't mean you can't do it." It took me two degrees to figure that little gem out. go me. The point is we all experience the journey differently. My goal through all of this is to make sure I'm not walking in circles for the next 70 years of my life. Hopefully I can inspire you to take a journey as well.

Bertrand Russell is attributed to the quote "Some people would rather die than think, and many of them do."

Let's jump into the deep end and see how the water feels.

TODAY!

Today is a new day my friends. Today is the place where we have the most power. It where we can decide to make a decision that will change the path of your life. Today is also where you can continue to take the steps toward your own success.

Remember those new years resolutions?

Get back on track with them.

Remember that workout you promised you'd do?

Right now is the best time to start.

Remember the people that loved and raised you? Or those who impacted your life in a major way?

Today is the day to show gratitude.


There is so much power in today. So many times we give it away to work stress, mindless TV, or general negativity in life. (trust me go look at your Facebook and tell me if it raises you up or brings you down)

Action: Make a list of the three best things that you can do TODAY to make your life better. Don't stop until they are complete.

Mine today are to 1. go for a 5 mile run 2. Call my great god parents (who played a significant part in my life) 3. E-mail a professor of mine to thank him for his guidance.

This is a short one because today is a day of action.

Live Excellent.

Gifts

AS I reflect on where I am as a person, I think about my grand parents. I had a chance to get to know my Grandfather and mother on my dad’s side, but only had a relationships with my Grandmother on my mom’s side. He passed away before I was about to remember him. But more importantly, I think about their lives, and also I think about their funerals.  In some ways its sad that after living 65, 70, 85 years on this planet, all we get is a day’s worth of celebration or remembrance, but that’s how this world is made. But when we really look at what is celebrated during that time, it’s what they gave. It’s how they impacted other people’s lives. It’s great to accomplish great things, and overcome personal goals, but people remember us for our contributions. That’s why musical legends, military members and presidents receive an outpouring of goodwill and adulation and epic, and sometimes embellished biographies  while people we’ve never known dying in third world countries receive basically nothing. It’s a harsh reality. It’s a “what have you done for me lately”  kind of world, and those that do the most receive the most. usually.

But isin’t it better that way?

It’s not only those that receive that are impacted by “givers”. but usually the givers themselves live a higher type of lifestyle because of their contributions. Sometimes they are remembered in life. Sometimes they are remembered in death. How is it that a young 14 year old girl’s journal has gone on to impact millions of lives throughout the world? She unknowingly gave her diary, and what that gave us was an unfiltered view of life in germany during one of the most insane periods in Human history.

It’s all about giving. It’s always been about giving. And the people that do it best, the give things that matter that make lives better for others, are the one’s that get remembered.

SO the challenge today is this. Ask yourself. What are you giving? Is it love to your friends and family members? Is it time to a cause you care about? Is it new ideas and innovation in your profession? Is it as simple as being a good friend and helping them out in times of need?

Once you’ve done this, ask yourself what gifts and contributions you want to be remembered for. If what you’re doing and what you want line up, do it now. If they don’t, begin to form a plan to get on the right path.

p.s. I don’t write this because I’m an expert in this area, but because I needed the wakeup call as well. It’s easy to get caught in the minutiae of life, like picking up dry cleaning and what brunch spot we’re gonna hit up. So many things in the world tell us to do just the opposite, to be selfish.  So join me in this endeavor of getting back to giving.

-Hayward “Trey” Sparks III

How to live on 24 hours a day... a little bit better.

Today I finished the book: How to live on 24 hours a day for being a book from the early 20th century i found it quite a good read. I think I learned a few good lessons from the book which I will go over here:

1. Realize the free time you actually do have.aside from the time we're working, we have a good amount of extra time to pursue other interests, but the bulk of man wastes away this time on things such as mindless TV or aimless internet use. after work, the time is yours. use it wisely.
2. Devote the time you spend commuting to investing in an interest of yours. - the book first focuses on making ourselves better through concentrating the time we would normally spend listening to the shock jocks of the morning rattle off... crap to focus on building our interests on a topic. If you're interested in gardening, get an audiobook on gardening, spend that time learning something new in the world. apply this to your favorite topic.
3. Devote time to let your brain think about what interests you. I know for me for a long time, I would find myself listening to audiobook after audiobook, tearing through a myriad of books, but never stopping once to see how I could apply the lessons I'd learned to my own life. It's powerful when you give your mind a topic to focus on. sometimes you have to bring your brain back to that center, but it's still a worthwile practice. 
4. Align your life with your principles- here's one of my favorite quotes from this book. "All I urge is that a life in which conduct does not fairly well accord with principles is a silly life; and that conduct can only be made to accord by means or daily examination, reflection and resolution. take some time each day to make sure you're on the right path. Did you know if an airplane flying from California to New York City was pointed just a degree off course, it would end up in an entirely different state? The airplanes of today are equipped to monitor when the plane gets off course, and makes adjustments to get back on the right track. we must do the same. through this we may learn how to become better men and women. We will find ourselves achieving goals beyond our wildest dreams. With ease! so continue on. continue to learn, make adjustments, and you'll find yourself at your goal.  

I hope you take these tips to heart and apply them in your life. I highly recommend this book. so go out my friends, live greatly and be ready to UP YOUR SUCCESS!

Moving Sites!!

Howdy internet users,

just so you know in the next few days I'll be moving this site onto a wordpress site, mainly because I think I have more freedom for customization and less domination by the google juggernaut (I still love you Google) So just so you know, keep on using the site upyoursuccess.info and we'll keep on truckin towards success. I will also be periodically posting some of my older posts so new people that are coming to the site can partake in the wonderment and joy of reading stuff on the internet.

Thanks for the support, and get ready to see some AWESOME results in the coming weeks with the Upyoursuccess blog, site and twitter. LET'S DO IT!!!

-To our continued success,

Hayward Sparks III